Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Sweet, Sobbing, Sleepy Rest!

On Friday night, March 13, I was crying out to God.  I was exhausted.  I had made it two straight weeks without a day of rest and I had become sick.  My husband and I had been working extra hard toward our adoption funding, spending our Saturdays doing home improvement projects for friends an neighbors, and staying up too late to fulfill orders from my Etsy shop or planning an upcoming fundraiser.  I was too sick to fall asleep, so I sat up evaluating how to return to a state of health and balance for our family.  I turned to Scripture and God led me to the Psalms and to Psalm 127.

It is vain for you to rise up early,
to retire late,
to eat the bread of painful labors;
for he gives to his beloved even in his sleep.

Behold, children are a gift from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb is a reward.

Psalm 127:2-3

Ha!  Vain, yes!  I had been rising early and retiring late, enduring painful labor and become sick and stressed.  But, I was doing GOOD.  I was working hard to bring Titus home.  Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing?!  "God, I have $20,000 left to raise in about 4 months and you're telling me that it is vain and I should just go to sleep?  I've seen Your amazing provision already, so I'm not complaining, it's just that $20,000 is a lot and it is making me sleepless."  Over the course of about an hour, God revealed some priorities to me to guide the remainder of our waiting phase, giving me peace that if I keep these priorities and don't get bogged down with the things we agreed to cut out, that He will provide and I can get more sleep and be more available and productive in the most important areas.   I began to feel hopeful.

Then my cold turned into an awesome sinus/ear infection that allowed me to cuddle my kids a lot more through the weekend than usual!  I didn't do much productive, but I sure slept!  I felt like I was keeping my end of the deal pretty well.  

On Monday afternoon I came home and stopped by the mailbox to find THIS!

Sobbing-on-the-kitchen-floor, crazy disbelief, weak-kneed gratefulness.

While God and I were having our Psalm 127 conversation, this letter was ALREADY in the mail on its way to me. God knew.  I had no clue, but I was trying hard to trust in all the assurances He was giving me.  Once again, God is right.  He provides even while we sleep.  This child we are working hard to ransom, he isn't our child, but God's.  Getting to be the ones to love and raise him is a gift from the Lord.  Seeing these miracles of God's provision is a gift.  It is humbling to be on this journey, seeing God's hand in all the details.  

  We are still not fully funded, but this grant brings our earn/save/raise goal down into the teen-thousands.  That sure feels a lot better than $20,000!  Trust us, you'll know when we're fully funded by the large amounts of confetti,sobbing, and screaming.  

In the meantime, take a sneak peak at our upcoming fundraiser!  We've partnered with an adoption fundraising foundation called Both Hands.  Next month our family and a team of friends will be serving a widow by completing home repairs, improvements, and maintenance.  All the supplies will be donated and 100% of the proceeds will benefit our adoption.  (click logo below for project page link!)  If you're local and interested in joining our team, please contact me!

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..." James 1:27

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